Fair-weather

I don't want to quote this wrong and get myself in trouble, but someone told me yesterday, essentially, that I'm way too depressed lately and they can't handle it.

Which I found odd, because not only had I spent a couple of happy days with them prior to this revelation, but also because I've been through some pretty testing, depressing times with this person over the last several years.  And when someone I know isn't doing very well -- yeah, it is frustrating, but -- I do what I can to help them or make them feel better.  I am there for them, I try to help them work their way through it, I make small gestures to let them know I'm thinking of them (like giving them a gift or writing them a note), or I at least pray for them.

I suddenly felt like a little girl standing in front of my mother.  I love my mother but that woman can walk into a room that's just been swept and mopped twice over and see the one spot under the dog bowl where there are a few spilt pieces of dog food in a tuft of dust -- where the dog was just eating!

Yeah, I was acting a little depressing -- because I found out that I missed an opportunity for a job I kinda wanted ... and needed.  Who wouldn't get a little depressed about that?  Give me a break.

So now I'm just mad.  I feel terrible because -- since I'm angry about it -- I'm not even upset that this person doesn't even want to be around me anymore.  I mean, that is just so childish and selfish.

And to be honest, what I'm really looking for is a best friend -- someone who can love me despite my faults and who is there for the long haul.  Not someone who "shuts down" when things get slightly annoying.  I just don't think that's what love is about.

Leave me a comment.  Tell me I'm wrong.  Am I expecting too much?  Am I being selfish?  Do I put too much faith in humanity?  

Is it hilarious that I'm even asking these questions?

In other news, I've been getting some good comments on my writing!  Yay!  Loooooove.