"Flighty"

In the search to figure out what to name my new blog, I asked my dear darling boyfriend what one word best describes me.

Guess what he said?

flighty |ˈflītē|
adjective
fickle and irresponsible
SYNONYMS fickle, inconstant, mercurial, whimsical, capricious, skittish, volatile, impulsive; irresponsible, giddy, reckless, wild, careless, thoughtless. ANTONYMS steady, responsible.

It really sort-of bothered me and made me want to defend myself when he said that the one word that best described me was "flighty." Naturally, I had to completely disagree with him. I mean, not only is it slightly insulting that someone I am so close to would describe me as ... oh ... fickle, reckless, careless, thoughtless and irresponsible, but he has also told me many many times that I am one of the most thoughtful people he knows. The real kicker, though, was that this wasn't the first time I'd been called "flighty." Actually, I had a teacher in junior high and high school -- the one teacher that I never really saw eye-to-eye with -- that described me as "flighty."

Of course, when you hear something more than once you have to stop and consider its accuracy, so I asked my boyfriend why he picked that one word to describe me.

He answered that it is because I tend to focus all my attention and energy on something like an obsession for a time, and then I'll suddenly switch gears and completely devote myself to something else.

I thought about that for a while, and I came to a very direct and unquestionable conclusion:

I am a very passionate person.

It isn't that I lose interest in the subject of my affection -- quite the contrary. It is just that there comes a point when I must move on -- like Mary Poppins moving to the next family that needs her when the wind finally changes.

Soon, I was observing the butterflies outside on the flowers. They land on a bloom and drink from it for a while; and then suddenly fly up into the air and flutter around like crazy in a completely unpredictable path, before they settle again on ... sometimes the same flower, sometimes a new one. The hummingbirds are similar. They fly from the tree to the feeder or flower. Sometimes they land, and sometimes they hover. Sometimes they fly back and forth. Often, they'll even "fight" each other for their claim. Are the butterflies and the hummingbirds flighty ... or are they just very focused and even passionate about what they want or need?

I certainly wouldn't call them "irresponsible" or "reckless" or "careless." Would you?

If you read the "About" page of this blog, I have to admit I certainly do seem sort-of "inconstant" or "fickle" or "wayward." I think this is because I just love too many things way too much. It isn't that I'm necessarily changing my mind about what I want to do or write about. It's just that I have so many ideas that I have trouble figuring out where to focus my energy. Until now, I've been trying to keep everything in its place and spreading myself out.

When I was a kid and my mother would tell me to clean my room, she would come to check on my progress and be angry because in the process of cleaning I would inevitably make my room look worse. My cleaning method is to make piles, and most of the time I would just make one big pile of the entire mess (usually on my bed) and then sort things out one at a time into the places where they were supposed to be. I guess, in a way, that's what I'm doing with this blog. Rather than having several blogs about specific subjects, I'll have one blog -- like a big pile -- where I keep all my thoughts and sort them into smaller, more organized categories.

So ... no. I would not say I'm "flighty." I'm just very passionate about many many things!